How is it that Justin Timberlake can look better in a leotard and heels than I do????  Haha!!!


http://www.usmagazine.com/news/justin-timberlake-dances-with-beyonce-on-saturday-night-live?nopop=1

this is me as of now . . .

It's that time of the year again . . . actually, that time in the semester where we have our midterms.  And then in our department, following the midterms, we have what we call "stop day" which is when you set an appointment to meet your teacher so they can tell you your progress, what your strengths are, challenges (weaknesses) and what they want to see happen through the rest of the semester.  It makes sense since this is an academic insituation; we have to have something to strive for in a dance class since we really don't sit around reading books and listen to lectures.  Dance is so individualistic - what I can do is maybe not how you would do it, and vice versa so it makes sense to allow the teacher to comment on your work semi-privately.  Well, I was actually dreading my stop day with my ballet instructor this time around.  I mean, I need to get to the next level by next semester if I plan on graduating in the spring and ballet has always been my weakness.  I mean, I've been doing ballet for like less than 5 years now, so compared to other styles of dance, that is my true weakness.  I don't have amazing extensions.  My feet are not amazing.  My turn out sucks.  And I am not Ms. Ballerina, nor will I ever be.  I think with all of that said though, I feel like I work my ass off.  Well, it's nice to know that my teacher acknowledges that.  I basically was told that I was probably the most improved student my teacher ever had, which she said might not sound like a compliment (since it means I SUCKED at one point) but that it truly was meant to be a good thing.  That I had a lot of work to still obviously go but she feels like every day I face my battles and conquer them.  She said I work the hardest in the class and she said she secretly roots for me the most in class because I want it that bad and it shows.  And she also said that she couldn't guarantee I get moved up by next semester, especially if she will not be the next level teacher next semester.  But she also said that if I continue to do what I have been doing, she would definitely vouch for my work ethics and that I deserve the opportunity to be moved up and would push on me getting moved up when the department gets together to decide my fate on my level change.  Hearing all of this almost made me want to break into tears and start crying in her office.  I just feel invisible in my dance department at times.  Like I am my own cheerleader and I have to root for myself and push myself at the same time because I am not the teachers pet and will never be.  And with this particular ballet instructor, I know she never rooted for me when I had her in a previous semester about a year ago so I knew I had the work ahead of me if I wanted to get moved up at the end of this semester for my final level.  I guess I just finally feel like maybe I am not so invisible.  That my hard work and effort is actually getting more and more noticed and I am getting more and more respect than I realized.  But it also made sense to know why my teacher doesn't visible root for me; because without that, I wouldn't be striving and pushing myself as I do being my own cheerleader.  And I guess in the end it's preparing me for the harsh reality of the dance world.  That unless I am that one in a million that the planets were all aligned when I was born and was absolutely amazing with no effort, that no one can instill that drive in me and sit there every day to push me.  So in the end, I guess it seems as to all make sense.  I'm glad I am not the teacher's pet.  Because realistically, I am one of those dancers who has to work really hard for it and has the heart for it more than one of those dancers who can just naturally do it and not know that drive I have.  So I guess this is what it is like to be acknowledged for once.  I'm taking this like a grain of salt in all of my lessons at this school and putting it away in the feel good pile when I need a pick me up.  Until then, I am gonna continue to push on and work my ass off.  Now if only I was to get the same news from my modern stop day next week . . .

Then again, my modern class is a joke and my teacher never gets my name right so I'll just be impressed if he doesn't tell me, Sophia (a fellow student) and I should be sisters because we look exactly alike . . . Only because we both are of ethnic groups and have dark colored hair.  So the things he tells me I'll take as a grain of salt all together.  Like I said, the class is a joke at times and he has no say in the dance department so I am not too worried.  As long as he remembers I am Elaine.  Hehe!